Sunday, March 14, 2010

Keeping Busy

Welcome Monday Mourners,

I am writing my Monday morning blog for those who grieve on.... Sunday night. It seems a bit off; a bit awkward; a bit...wrong! It might be that I am missing my favorite booth at the diner and my cup of coffee. Yeah! Coffee is definitely helpful but if I have a cup of coffee right now at 10:00pm on Sunday I will be staring at the ceiling most of the night. So I am trying to do what I do sans coffee. It's definitely not the optimum approach to reflection or writing - at least not for me. But nevertheless I am writing on Sunday night.
Tomorrow I have one of those non-stop days. It will begin with an hour and a half commute to a conference that begins at 8:00am. The day will end for me around 9:00pm after a small group meeting. Busy. Busy. Busy! Some days are just like that and I realized as I am printing out my mapquest directions and figuring out what to wear that I am not dreading Monday's mad schedule. I seem to be OK with the day. (except for the coffee at my diner part. I'm missing that already!) The fact that I'm OK with tomorrows schedule makes me smile.
You see, it wasn't that long ago in my journey with grief that a busy schedule like the one I have tomorrow would have overwhelmed me. Grief is exhausting. It takes so much energy out of you that you realize you just don't have the reserve needed for a busy day. Being overwhelmed usually causes me to cry or scream. Neither is all that productive and sometimes damaging. So I am smiling at my willingness to face a grueling day ahead with optimism instead of dread. That is a sign of healing and progress. Grief is slowly (very, very slowly!) losing its grip on me. YEAH!
I will take small victories wherever I can find them. Tomorrow is filled with busyness... and hope and promise. And just to make sure the day goes well, I will be grabbing a cup of coffee on my way out of town. Somethings just need to happen no matter how busy the day is.
If you're feeling a little overwhelmed with the day. It's OK. Been there, done that! And I may find myself circling back to that. Grief has been known to sneak up on me and blindside me a time or two. On the overwhelmed days I cry (or scream) and pray. Tomorrow is another day! With God's help, a better day! See you next Monday.


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